How do you define attraction in a relationship
Attraction is not a choice. Everybody is attracted to what they are attracted to, and most people are attracted to the same things, only in different proportions. Over the course of a relationship, the things that attract people to each other change only in percentage of the whole.
There are three basic axes of attraction:
Physical – how someone looks
Material – structural support they bring to the relationship unit (money, attention, comfort)
Social – how someone interacts with others both within the relationship and in family, work and friendships.
People are attracted to displays of high value in their mates (and in others as well). A display of high value is manifest in confidence, resourcefulness, appearance and intelligence.
There are four stages of a relationship where attractiveness matters: Strangers (first meeting -> exclusivity), Lovers (exclusivity->engagement), Betrothed (engagement->marriage), and Marriage (“till death do us part”.).
Of course, not every relationship is perfectly fit to these four stages, but they are common.
The percentages are more of a template than absolute numbers. In fact, everybody will probably have different requirements.
A woman who is interested in attracting men has to realize that looks matter a whole lot to the male lizard brain, which dominates initial mate selection. The prettier she is, the more high-quality men she will be able to attract.
A physically unattractive woman (obese, bad skin, hygiene issues, and bad teeth) will be able to attract men by the simple virtue of having lady parts – but they will not be very high quality men.
She should also recognize that his lizard brain could not care less about how much money she makes, how long her nails are, or how expensive her handbag is. However, if she is emotionally stable and knows how to be friends and has social intelligence (often manifest as “confidence” and “joyfulness”) that is quite attractive as well, and can overcome some physical quYou guys have all said well. I’ll add that Beauty, Attraction or whatever name you call it is in the Eyes of the Beholder.
That being said, I’ll add the following .
1. Piercings, Tattoos, and Scars: According to the evolutionary “handi-cap” theory, men who are physically healthy and have good genes can afford to take part in risky behavior involving needles, ink and katana swords. Think of it as your body’s way of showing off for prospective mates.
2. Money, Money, Money… Money: A study by evolutionary psychologist David Buss found that women from 37 cultures around the world value high earning potential and good financial prospects in a partner. Even Zambia ladies love a sugar daddy.
3. A Deep Voice: Women value physical symmetry because it’s a sign of good health and good genes for the screaming hordes of babies they plan to make with you. The deeper a man’s voice, the more likely he is to be symmetrical. Just the way it is.
4. Height: Tall men make more money and have more babies.
5. A V-Shaped Torso (Hit the Gym): If you look like you row, swim, or moonlight as a superhero, women dig your body. If you’re shaped like a Family Guy character, they do not.
6. Sense of Humor: Dr. Cindy M. Meston says that women like men who make them laugh. Men, she says, prefer women who laugh at their jokes.
7. Her Past (How You Remind Her of It): Women create a mental “love map” of their romantic life based on past experiences. It starts to form at age eight. This explains why you never had a chance with that little red-headed girl.
8. Smell: There is no single most-attractive scent, but studies show that women can smell symmetry, just like they can hear it. This is why you should not mask your natural scent with body spray.
9. Confidence (Have It): Few women are attracted to wimpy guys and most women are not attracted to arrogant jerks. Real confidence is the ability to switch between bravado and humility without worrying about appearing vulnerable.