You’re not in love with me
You promised me a lot of things. Your words gave me the confidence I never had. For the first time I was content in my life.. You told me everything I wanted to hear.
But I can see it in your eyes.. You’re not in love with me.
I see the way you look at her.. Your smile seems so much brighter. The spark in your eyes were brighter. I’ve never seen you that happy before.
I see the way she looks at you too. She seems happier. But the problem between you two is just me.
You think you’re in love with me. But please don’t fool yourself and me.
We both know that it’s not me that you want. It’s hurting me each day to see you with her. You told me I meant the most to you.
You said I would look perfect if I lost some weight.. I looked at her, her body was perfect. And I looked at mine. The only thing I saw were stretchmarks and scars.. I felt the confidence in me fade away. It hurt me. Such simple words destroyed me..
I used to love eating. It calmed me down. But every time someone would ask me if I was hungry I would say no. Even though I was starving. But I’d do anything for you right?
But you started drifting away from me and towards her. And in that moment that you chose to make her smile than stop me from cutting.. I knew you didn’t care anymore.
I knew you could be happy without me.
It’s so painful seeing the smiles you show her. You used to only smile like that with me. I wish I could’ve made you that happy. I want to know. What have I done wrong? What did I do to make you leave me? What did I do to make you forget me that easily? Was I ready to give everything up for you.
I wish you didn’t say the words you said. Cause you didn’t mean them. And now I am left behind with the broken pieces of my heart and broken promises. But I am dumb…
Because if I had the chance to turn back time. I would’ve still chosen to love you. I don’t want to forget every memory of us. It hurts remembering them. But it’s the only thing that is keeping me alive.